Larry got to his gray phone at a small wooden table surrounded by many of other employees in the 13-story building.  He dialed his first phone number on the list.  He was selling mayonnaise today.  The potential customer picked up the phone.

            “Who is this calling me,” the phone said to Larry.  He looked on the paper next to the phone number and saw the name of who he was calling.

            “Hello Mr. Bin laden, I am Larry.”

            “Larry! I thought you were eaten by your camel.  You came back from the dead?”

Larry was confused because he couldn’t remember being eaten by a camel, but he didn’t really remember much anyway. So he ignored that and said, “Are you interested in buying mayonnaise, because today we are having a special.”

The phone hang up with the last words: “stop calling me!”

Larry was flustered! He got up and threw the phone to the floor breaking it.  Then he grabbed the papers with his phone number and address and jumped out a giant glass window, big enough to fit an ice cream truck through, and shattered it.  He fell to the ground and was lucky enough to have landed on a randomly place pile of pillows that cushioned his fall.  He stood up and jumped on to a passing car then rode it down the street to the airport.  He tried jumping on to the fence of the airport to climb over it, but it was an electrical fence and he was shocked and fell off.  He didn’t care because he wanted to track Osama Bin Laden and get revenge.  He ran around to the front doors of the airport and ran in.  He paid for his plane ticket to Afghanistan with his Capital One no Hassle Card with low and fixed rates.

At 11’clock, the plane left with Larry on it.  He had awhile to do anything he wanted, so he did what he usually does when he is bored, pick his nose.  He was sitting next to an Arab with a big beard, turban, and a big suitcase with the words in bold print, “this is not a bomb.”  Larry was happy the man was nice enough to search his luggage himself and make sure there isn’t a bomb in it so the security people didn’t have to.  He looked around and saw an old lady shaving her legs with whipped cream and a couple of people throwing up on the floor from motion sickness. On the ride, he got a bag of peanuts.  He thought that the flight attendant had given it to him because it was his birthday so he put them in the Arab man’s turban because he didn’t have any pockets.  The turban man didn’t care because he was sleeping. 

The ride was long and boring.  Then when they were over Afghanistan, turban man’s watch alarm went off.  He woke up and grabbed his suitcase.  He ripped off part of the “this is not a bomb” sticker so it said: “this is a bomb.”  He stood up and walked sleepily into the aisle.  He slipped and fell on some of the puke.  He quickly stood up and shouted in a heavy Arab accent, “This is a bomb.”

Larry thought the man was stupid because the suitcase already said that. Turban man ran up the front of the plane into the cockpit with the pilot. Every one was silent because nobody heard him anyway except for Larry because they were sleeping. 

There was a loud bang and, the plane started falling through the air.  Everyone was still sleeping, and Larry thought it was like one of the rides at one of the many amusement parks and circuses he worked at before.

The plane crashed with Larry shouting “whoohoo!” lucky for him his hands were up creating just enough air resistance to slow him down just enough for him to be able to survive the crash.  Unfortunately, the Arab man had been blown to pieces in the explosion along with the pilot, Larry’s peanuts, and the whole front of the plane.

Larry crawled from the wreckage, with just a small scratch on his arm from a un-seat belted man flying down towards the front of the plane smashing into the wall at the front of the plane.  His wedding ring on his finger just scraped Larry’s arm that was wailing in the air. 

Upon exiting the plane, he remembered that he didn’t have his peanuts.  He began looking around for them, but couldn’t find them.  After two hours of looking he finally went into a nervous breakdown.  He was laying on the ground shaking when a magical desert hamster walked up to him.  The hamster told him to go into the town that was only a mile away and buy new peanuts in a store.  Larry thought that was a perfectly good idea so he got up and started walking.

When he got into the town, he went into the nearest store he saw.  It was an old run-down shack with a smelly port-a-potty, around the side.  Larry had to use it because he hadn’t gone since the night before.  When he got out, he walked into the store.  There was another Arab man at the counter being the store clerk.  Larry walked up to him and asked if they had peanuts.  The man said, “no, but we have mayonnaise on sale.”

Larry then remembered what he came to Afghanistan for, to find Osama Bin Laden.  Larry was happy at the sales clerk for reminding him.  He looked at his nametag to thank him.  The nametag said, “OSAMA BIN LADEN,” Larry was again flustered, but then again he did find Osama.  Larry started yelling mayonnaise really loud and he chased Osama out of the store and down the street.  It was a funny sight to see Larry chasing Osama Bin Laden down the street yelling, “mayonnaise”, and Osama yelling, “Ahh.”  Osama was a faster runner so he got ahead.   He hid in a near cave.  By time Larry got into the cave Osama had a plan.

Larry walked in still yelling, but softer because he was tired and breathing hard.  He was looking around when Osama jumped out and used finger puppets, which he kept in his turban to hypnotize Larry.  Larry fell right asleep.  Then the magical hamster came running in the cave and bit Osama’s big toe.  Osama screamed so loud, Larry woke back up. 

Osama was frightened.  He limped out of the cave as fast as he could with his swelling toe, and to his luck, an ice cream truck was driving by.  Osama waved it down and hijacked it throwing the driver out.  He threw the driver out the door and drove away with the driver chasing him. 

Now Larry was all alone except for the magical hamster that saved his life.  Larry was thinking about what happened because he forgot.  Then he realized he was hungry.  There was nothing to eat, so he grabbed the magical hamster and started to chow it down while it was screaming.  When he was finished, he stood up.  Larry realized he felt different.  He walked out of the cave and did see the ice cream truck.  Larry did see the tracks though in the dry desert like area and out in the distance he could still see the driver trying his best to catch up with his truck. 

Larry wished he had a faster way to fin Osama Bin Laden.  Larry remembered once again, which was the most times he had ever remembered in one day, a TV show he had once seen that people could fly around.  He thought it might work for him too, so he backed up and ran as fast as he could.  He jumped into the air and closed his eyes.  He didn’t hit the ground.  Larry opened his eyes and he was flying.  He looked down and saw the ground far beneath him whizzing by.  Larry must have gotten some sort of super powers from eating the magical hamster.

With his new super powers, he began flying all around looking for the ice cream truck.  He quickly passed the driver and soon saw the truck speeding through the desert with a giant trail of dust rousing up behind it.  Larry caught up to the truck and then slowed down.  He flew in front to check and make sure Osama was in it and it was the right ice cream truck speeding through the desert.  Seeing it was, he flew down to it and used his super powers to pick up the truck to carry it back to the telemarketer headquarters.  It was another long flight with another sleeping Arab man wearing a turban.  By the time he got back to the headquarters, it was almost closing time for the telemarketers, 11:30PM. 

Larry flew in the giant widow he jumped out of.  The truck just fit in.  He stopped and pulled Osama out of the truck.  Osama quickly woke up.

Larry said to every telemarketer in the room, “this man hung up on me, and it was my birthday today too!”  No one really cared that it was his birthday, but after a long day of being hung up on they were mad and wanted to attack the man.  Osama freaked when they started screaming, “Kill him! Kill him!”  He scrambled back into the truck.  Every one surrounded the truck.  Osama had to think quickly what to do.  Then an idea came to him.

All of a sudden the back door on the ice cream truck opened.  Osama came jumping out yelling, “FREE ICE-CREAM!”  Everyone including Larry forgot about the fight and went to get some of Osama’s ice cream.  When they all, including Osama Bin Laden, had all the ice cream they could eat they thanked Osama, and Larry gave him a hug.  They let him go out on the street, and even gave him one of the company’s cars to drive, considering Larry’s powers wore off because he expelled them in the bathroom, and his truck was stuck on the thirteenth-floor of the building. Then they all lived happily ever after.